From Finest Associates to Platonic Spouses

From Best Friends to Platonic Spouses

Historically, marriage has been an economic affair, but over time it has turned into a choice that represents an all-consuming relationship, said Indigo Stray Conger, a Denver sex and relationship therapist. In this context, couples expect to meet all of their needs: social, psychological and economic.

“Platonic marriages raise an interesting question about what elements are most important in a marriage and what needs partners must theoretically meet for marriages to be successful,” said Jess Carbino, a Los Angeles-based relationships expert and a former sociologist for The Dating apps Tinder and Bumble.

40-year-old Kim Reiter never thought of marrying a best friend, even though she considers herself non-binary, aromantic and bisexual. Ms. Reiter, who lives in Dortmund and is unemployed, tried OkCupid in 2013 and found her husband, who is aromantic and asexual.

They quickly became platonic best friends and got married in 2018.

“Our daily life is that of best friends: we talk and laugh a lot, watch films, but there is almost no physical element in it,” said Ms. Reiter. “Sometimes we hug or massage each other and we have our goodnight kiss every night, but we have separate bedrooms. We are the most important people in each other’s life. “

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Kema Barton and Dene Brown of Columbus, Ohio are both pansexual and have a similar platonic marriage. (Pansexual is defined as sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction to people regardless of gender or gender identity.) You have been best friends for seven years and each have two children from previous relationships. In October 2020, just before Ms. Brown had her second child, the friends decided to get married and make all of their life decisions together.