What’s Your Largest School Remorse?

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What's Your Biggest College Regret?

I’m writing this from New Orleans, more precisely from my brother’s room. He graduated from college this week so you can imagine he’s been pretty busy with partying – I saw the ceremony, went to dinner, but now I’m here to work with a pastry from a local bakery in case I get hungry and a glass of water the bedridden boy had hand delivered down the hall. Of course, being alone all the time means … I’ve been sniffing a bit.

Instead of following in my footsteps in any way, my brother seemed to be marching to his own drummer. But now that I’m sitting here I see my influence more than expected: the art print I bought three years ago, the book I must have mentioned by the way, and the beauty products. I can sum up his routine almost perfectly based on what’s lying around. In the morning he washes his face with Milky Jelly Cleanser and then applies either Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Moisturizer or Priming Moisturizer Rich. He treats his bumps with tea tree oil, styles his hair with public goods pomade, takes a shower with eucalyptus Dr. Bronner, soothes with Gossamer CBD and hydrates his lips with the tube of Mint Balm Dotcom next to his bed. Every now and then he lights a candle (I’m counting five) and masks it with Glossier’s Moisturizing Moon. Am i missing something? I would ask him when he gets back, but I know he will refuse to use any of these – and that, dear reader, is the only indication of collegial silliness I can find. Well, and the carnival pearls.

Unlike my younger brother, I don’t have a wise older sister to help me make better decisions. So when I think of my college beauty routine, I shudder a little. I left college with a degree knowing that I couldn’t get rid of my breakouts with peel gel cleansers or smooth my flaky spots with prickly scrubs. Of course, I also didn’t use sunscreen, masked and constantly picked, slept in my makeup … Just thinking about my bad habits, I have the feeling that an unfortunate connection is making eye contact from all over campus. Pooh.

Before my brother returns from his graduation, answer me: What beauty habit did you have in college that is hard to pin down until now? Let’s make sure this year’s graduates don’t bring any of them into adulthood.

“But Oshinsky.”

Photo via ITG